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"Australiana" is a spoken-word comedy single by Austen Tayshus, written by Billy Birmingham and recorded live at The Comedy Store, Sydney, in 1983. It was only available on 12″. It is Australia's best-selling single ever and was the No. 1 single in Australia in 1983 for eight weeks, seven of them consecutive.
The sketch is built on extensive sets of equivocations that form puns relating to Australian place names and icons, for example:
My mate, Boomer, rang. Will Walla be there? Vegie might come. Let's go, Anna. Only if Din goes. Nulla bores me. Speak ill of Warra. Ayers rocks in. Alice springs into action. Thanks, Warra, ta. Has Eucum been in? Wait until Gum leaves. On the lawn, Ceston. Marie knows. Leave Jack around a party. Adel laid it on me. Do you wanna game of euchre, Lyptus? Can Wom bat? Can Tenta field? Dar wins every time. Is Bass straight? Swim in the River, Ina. I've got no cosi, Oscar. Without a thread, Bo. Perish the thought. No cooler bar maid. Where can Marsu pee, Al? You reek of Stockade. Cook a burra. A pair of queens land in. Crack on to Wumba. Try to mount Isa. Trying to plat her puss. Flash your wanger at her. What'll 'ey care? Seen a cock or two. Pack Bill a bong. Will a didgery do? Where's the Tally-ho, Bart? Great, Barry—a reefer. Blew Mountains away. Lord! How? Hey! Man! How much can a Koala bear? Lead you astray, Liana.
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